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4 days ago

Marc de Bruin

Neuro-scientists say that any emotion ("good" ones and "bad" ones) has a lifespan of about 90 seconds. That's it. After that time, it fades away like a wave crashing on the beach. Obviously, another one of the roughly 30,000 emotions we can feel will follow, just like another wave.

If we can learn to "sit" with an emotion for roughly 90 seconds, without too much -or no- resistance, we will not be under the spell of that emotion anymore. We will be freed up, realising emotions are nothing more than an ongoing set of waves, coming over us, and disappearing.

This realisation can mean freedom from emotions we label "anxiety" or "fear", or other nasty names.

It's a learnt skill. But it can be learnt by anyone.

#counsellor #SimplifyingLife #Emotions #Feelings

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I don’t sit with my emotion, I go for the 90 seconds bawl it out, and then carry on.

5 days ago

Marc de Bruin

Let's be honest: crap happens. Definitely in this 2020 year of COVID and global uncertainty/insecurity.

It is ok to feel emotional (read: bad).

It is ok to express those emotions and feelings.

It is ok to not cope.

It is ok to not see a way out.

It is also ok to know that things will change.

It is also ok to know that our bodies and minds CAN actually cope with this.

It is also ok to realise that the pursuit of happiness is totally useless, and that to be with "what is" is a more effective way to lead a fulfilling life.

It is very ok to tap into that resilience we all have. Our bodies and brain know it. It is ours to use.

#Counselling #SimplifyingLife #CopingSkills

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1 week ago

Marc de Bruin

Another brief Live video on this month's Spirit Hive topic: Synchronicity and Meditation.

The awesome Jennifer Forster and I looking at the Devil's Advocate when it comes to these topics!

#spirithive #livehive
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4 weeks ago

Marc de Bruin

The wonderful Robyn Boyle and I sharing our meditation and synchronicity nuggets in a 10-minute power session after Sunday's Spirit Hive Live Hive session.

Feel free to pop questions and comments below!

#spirithive #livehive
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A comment and a quote/passage. Just listening to your synchronicity explanation reminded me of this passage (which I suspect you will be familiar with) from William Hutchison Murray : “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” I’ve lost count of the number of times I have finally relinquished control/attachment to something and what I had “trying” to make happen would suddenly transpire. When it happens now, I just murmur “Providence” to myself and hope that next time, I won’t try to control for some long 😊.

4 weeks ago

Marc de Bruin

Sharing insights on meditation and synchronicity with the awesome Jennifer Forster and Robyn Boyle on the July Spirit Hive "Live Hive" yesterday morning.

There are many things to be said about meditation and synchronicity, and 30 minutes cannot cover it all. We had a fair crack at it, though!

Any questions, ideas, comments, etc: pop them in the comments, or hop over to the Spirit Hive page!

www.SpiritHive.org

#SpiritHive #LiveHive
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4 weeks ago

Marc de Bruin

A number of spiritual principles float around that may well be correct from a more abstract level of spirituality, but not from a grassroots, on-the-ground perspective.

Life being our responsibility is one of them. In principle, I agree. How we live and react to life IS our responsibility, but we're definitely not created equal! I am very aware that I, as a white middle-class European/Australian male have it WAY easier than many other people have.

This video, and a number of other ones to follow, will discuss some of these -more spiritual- principles that may well be true "in principle", but from a counselling perspective cannot always be equally applied to (or held against) each and everyone of us, without a close look at personal circumstances.

#ToxicSpirituality #SimplifyingLife #Counselling

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1 month ago

Marc de Bruin

Very often I hear clients talk about "my anxiety" or "my depression" (or any other mental health concern), as if these were something they "own"; as if they are part of them.

I generally tell clients (if the therapeutic relationship allows me to be so frank) that they don't own these buggers. They don't "have" anxiety or depression (or whatever); anxiety/depression has THEM for a while.

I am very aware that this may sound like semantics, but once we can learn to speak about mental health concerns as outside forces having effects on us rather than being something that's "ours", we can learn to let go of "owning" mental health concerns, and free ourselves up from identifying with them. They can become like a bout of flu, or a head cold: nasty, not nice and feeling horrible, but only temporary, and NOT part of your identity. And every bout of flu or head cold is a different one: they're not the same one, returning over and over again.

Once we can grasp this concept, life can get more manageable, and symptoms more tolerable.

#Counsellor #SimplifyingLife #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth

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I agree with this wholeheartedly. I let my clients know that they should not be defined by their mental health, even though some of them do “become” their illness.

1 month ago

Marc de Bruin

I believe this concept to be the preferred one for optimal mental and emotional health.

I fully realise that it can be oh-so hard to "live it". There are so many events that seem completely out of our hands/control (triggered or inflicted by "others" or outside circumstances) that affect us greatly... I hear plenty of examples, daily.

Nevertheless, wherever possible, living by this principle can increase our overall peace of mind -and heart, is my firm belief. And it's never too late to start doing so.

#NoBlame #ExtremeOwnership #ExperientialOwnership #Counsellor #SimplifyingLIfe
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I believe this concept to be the preferred one for optimal mental and emotional health. 

I fully realise that it can be oh-so hard to live it. There are so many events that seem completely out of our hands/control (triggered or inflicted by others or outside circumstances) that affect us greatly... I hear plenty of examples, daily.

Nevertheless, wherever possible, living by this principle can increase our overall peace of mind -and heart, is my firm belief. And its never too late to start doing so.

#NoBlame #ExtremeOwnership #ExperientialOwnership #Counsellor #SimplifyingLIfe
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